Instructions To Win

So you want to have friends huh? Well you came to the wrong place. This is the page that tells you exactly how to succeed in life. And guess what? You can either succeed or have friends. I of course have a zillion friends and am wildly successful. But enough about me, you stink and that’s a problem.

Step #1.

Stop stinking. Literally. Take a shower man, c’mon that’s gross.

Step #1a.

Take another damn shower. What did you roll around in?

Step #2.

Come up with an idea.

Step #3.

Realize your idea is pointless and glom onto someone else who is successful and take credit for their success. Eventually overthrow them and paint them to be the culprit.

Step #4.

Succeed.

SEE? IT’S JUST THAT EASY! Here’s a picture of someone who is a success to illustrate my point:

This man is a success.